I wanted to tell you about the anthropologists who discovered ‘Lucy’ in Ethiopia’ and how the Ethiopians call that collection of bones ‘Dinkinesh’ which means ‘you are marvelous’ in a language I had never heard of but which is spoken by millions.   I wanted to impress you with my clever critique but in researching I only revealed my ignorance and ignited my curiosity.

Did you know that an even older, more complete skeleton was found, also in Ethiopia? It’s name is Ardi and a full translation of Ardipithecus ramidus means ground floor and root?

I am glad that I did not sully myself with the insincerity of being clever.

Instead I thought about how hot you are and decided I would write about that.

I am glad I did.

And as I wrote this, I looked over at  your face, which was in profile.  I noticed your hair and how it was gathered over your left shoulder and how it was silhouetted by the lamp behind it.   You turned your head and held my gaze, and then released a short, low brassy fart.   You said “Write that.”

As I began to write about, just about when I was typing about your hair, you farted again – this time a little longer – and remarked that each time you fart I seemed to type more.

I am not sure on what line of this  I will no longer be able to smell your flatus.

It will be soon.

It may even be now.